This week I had more on my plate than typical.
While this is a good thing, because I want to practice time management and keep improving, I can honestly say it did humble me as well.
I thought I had my shit together a lot more than I do, and this week was a good wake up call to all the holes in my boat.
While I did better than I thought I would, I also did not perform in many areas and have definitely let my shit slip.
With more on my plate this week than typical I did not get my usual weekly tasks done, I procrastinated on a bunch of my homework (fuck) and, I did not perform my best at work either.
I understand this is only one week and it was the first time, and everyone would say, "you're fine you got the main things done" or "it's okay don't be so hard on yourself" and while this is true in some ways, I think we often miss something crucial.
In creating these little "it's okay" sayings we miss a very valuable chance to self-reflect and improve!
For instance, I want to own my own business, right? This requires me to manage a ton of different moving parts. How am I going to do that when I can't even handle my life getting a little messy for one week?
This week showed me how many holes are in my boat and how I better fucking get on fixing them or I am going to sink.
Do I think I suck? No. Am I going to sit here and throw myself a pity party while I take my stress out on everyone else? No.
I am going to be honest with myself. Evaluate where I wasted time, let myself be lazy, or made the easier choice, and I am going to re-adjust myself.
I have noticed that my anxiety is at its peak when I know my shit isn't done. I feel like everyone does this, we just don't want to admit it to ourselves.
But what if we took that stressed out feeling and put it towards something positive?
Now, I use this stress response as a cue. To me it is the voice in my head telling me it's time to level up.
In the book I am reading called Phychopictography by Vernon Howard, he explains what I am saying perfectly. He says to improve, " You must dare to reach slightly above yourself. You will soon find your capacity matching your reach. The law is: The more we dare to do, the more we can do."
We must constantly set ourselves and our lives a little out of our reach, so then, we are moving forward. Otherwise, we are standing still, and in turn going backwards.
I will keep having this much on my plate in the weeks to come and I fully intend on making it something I am used to handling, and then pushing past that.
What are you pushing yourself past... are you even reaching for better?
LAWS CO
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