Equanimity.

Something I find odd that people do, including myself at times, is brag about dumb things.

One of the worst ones to me is when people brag about being out of control and think it is cool.

I am not sure why, but this is something that really irritates me. Why on earth would I think it is cool that you have no self-control?

Yet, people act like complete jerks and think they are the shit because they have the guts to be that way.

Now, I'm sure that I am not innocent of this and have bragged about stupid things as well don't get me wrong.

But I read a quote that I have really taken to heart, and I think it applies here.

The quote is, "in order to find who you are you must first decide on who you are not".

Now, there are a few people in my life that think it is cool to be out of control, to lose your cool on someone for no reason, or to act like a jerk just because.

I used to think eh whatever, or I'd feed into their sad attempt to give themselves kudos for being an idiot.

But I have realized, I find no true respect in these actions, and I would rather not be anything like that. I have realized I am not that way, and I personally don't find it "cool" or "gutsy". I am not that and I do not want to be.

So, per the quote being 100% true... if I have decided I am not that, and don't want that, what have I found I want instead?

I want equanimity. I want to be a master of internal peace in all situations.

Does this mean I will always respond with peace and let things go that aren't right?

No.

This means you always have a level head, and you respond accordingly, not off the handle.

I want to feel centered in the worst of times and be able to think logically in times of trial.

That is a true challenge in my mind. That is what I believe a true man should master.

Any idiot can lose there cool and make a fool of themselves.

It takes someone with true awareness and self-confidence to always act with equanimity.

I respect that.

Think about it, in all the gladiator movies or whatever hero movie you think of, when does the hero get beaten down...?

When he acts out of anger and revenge without thought.

When dose the hero triumph...?

When he acts out of equanimity and confidence. They are calm, they are sure, and they know exactly what the fuck they need to do next.

Yes, it may be something harsh or aggressive, but it is 100% controlled.

I strive for that. Fuck looking like an out-of-control fool. That’s not impressive.

I want to see what you can control. That to me is worth something.

Work on equanimity, that will earn you respect.

LAWS CO.