The other day I was thinking about an old coach of mine. His name was coach Martinez and to be honest, he was kind of a dick.
I remember showing up to our lesson and he would bust my ass. We were playing tennis and he would run me all over the court. Then, after rounds of hitting when I was the most worn out, he would hit an incredibly tough shot at me. I would half ass get to it and swing with a prayer that it would go over the net.
After multiple rounds of great shots one bad hit and he would stop and say, "now Tonia that was just ugly." Or, if I missed a shot he would say, "Tonia I am almost 70 and I could have gotten that what are you doing?"
Each session I would go and just think about how he was going to spend an hour telling me how ugly my swing was and how lazy I am.
But funny enough, he is the coach I remember and miss the most. When I think back to all the coaches I had over the years, he was one of the only ones that genuinely cared about me. He dumped time into me, and he was tough on me. I had other great coaches as well don't get me wrong, but he was one of the only coaches that gave me harsh truth. He saw where I was weak and made sure I worked on it. He wanted me to be better and he knew I could be.
This is what truly loving someone and being a leader is about. You must accept that people are going to think you are a dick when you push them past their limit. They are going to resist, and they are going to want to quit. That is where you show them another way, you call them out and you push them on.
If you want to be a leader you have be ready to hold people accountable. Even if they don't like it, because in the end they all like the result. If you are dedicated to the process, you need to show everyone else what that means.
Although, there is a caveat to this. See, coach Martinez always held a standard for me, but that was because he first held it for himself. When he told me I shouldn't have missed a shot, I knew for a fact he was right because he would have been there. He always worked just as hard as me during the lesson and he was present the whole time. That is what people miss when they are trying to lead others, they are not doing any of the things they tell others to do and they lose credibility.
I want to be coach Martinez for other people. I want to hold myself to a standard that others find admirable, I want to be the one that helps other people see how great they can be. Honestly thinking the other day, I would give anything to have another lesson with Mr. Martinez now. I would love the challenge, but that is because now I know how much I must push myself and I enjoy it. I have started to love the process and not be as focused on the result. This is where I want to go, I want to help others and show my kids what it is to live by what you preach.
For now, I must be my own coach Martinez and I must hold myself accountable.
Sometimes it must be you, then eventually you will have other people around you that are there to push you. You will attract people that want to push you forward just like they push themselves, and that will be great too.
All I know is make sure you are moving forward, and make sure someone or something is kicking your ass to be the best.
Be your own Coach Martinez.
LAWS CO.
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